ARCHIMEDES SPIRAL

Have I that quickly fallen in love with the way you are around me? We seem to have picked up right where we left off. Protective and playful, your presence comforting, but not clingy, leaves me wondering what will go on this summer. You leave in a month and I am already preparing to fight this endless game of solitaire that I play and you watch and leave and watch and leave, and leave, and leave.

Sometimes- you do have to realize that you can glue something back together but you will still see the cracks, even if they are infinitesimal, and I think you, tonight, went a long way toward healing these broken pieces and a long way toward breaking me again. I am falling hard and fast and without mercy. This is the college I always thought it would be. I am starting to believe again that there is Nothing Wrong With Love.

Deep down, I worry that I am what everyone thinks I am - a heartless bitch who plays favorites and I think I worry because it's true and does that make it true? Is this becoming circular logic? I know that I went in enough circles last night - up and down those stairs, up and down into the backyard and up into the attic that is your room…

YOU USE YOUR words like scalpels against me - cutting razor thin slices of me to save for later, analyze and evaluate, and come back to me with a diagnosis, that says to me, oh, after all that, I am crazy, and it is you who are sane. Words pour forth like the blood from my fingers and look! There are cuts all over my hands that will never heal as long as I keep trying to break this glass cage that surrounds me.