SECOND DRAFT

In public you would never know.
The way I felt and the way he touched me
came so close to something 

normally it takes forever for people to catch on
for the rumor to get out.
The rumor was there from the start this time,
but she changed all that.

I backed off
and left well enough
alone. Scout’s honor!

She came to visit
we all fell in love with her
and I couldn't hurt her
after seeing the way
he was with her.
Or maybe it was because
I would have lost him in the process
Of trying. 

I waited for
a lifetime, dammit

Until I asked
and found out
the truth.

(Or the truth for the minute he told it.)

Everything nice
a warm bed
a pair of warm hands

one week
And then…
nothing.

A question meant well
that I didn't quite
want the answer to
Led to a quiet girl
all evening long.

The kind of evening with
the kind of laughing
that has so much hurt behind it
that it sounds extra funny

He's hurting me
with every breath she takes
and he either doesn’t know
or he doesn’t care

and I don't know which is worse.
Maybe he's as scared as me.
Maybe not.
I don't want it to take forever.
I don't have the patience for that.